I have no idea what I'm doing...

Bad mode

Every now and then,
I get into a bad mode,
That’s not a typo for mood,
It really is a mode.

It feels like my brain,
Gets rewired,
And urges me,
“Let’s think about all the bad stuff now, shall we?”,
Like there is no good in the world.

It get’s so bad,
That I can see my husband wondering,
Who or what he actually married.

Today was one of those days,
Where I spend my time with some crying,
In my dressing room,
Some yelling to my husband,
Because he wanted to go to the movies,
And basically just have a nice time,
With me and the kids.

Then I cried some more,
At the movies,
Watching the trailers,
For other movies.

I know.

But it had me wondering,
I can’t be the only one,
In the entire world,
Who goes through this,
(Please, tell me I’m right about this one)

I spend my evening,
Watching inspiring speeches,
Of celebrities,
And unknown people,
From around the world,
That did something amazing.

Did some more sobbing,
Realizing that,
There is good in the world,
And that my brain was wrong,

But still,
It leaves me a bit empty,
A hollow space in my body,
That isn’t filled yet.

A black hole,
That screams to me,
“DO something!”,
But with the best will in the world,
I can’t seem to find,
What I’m supposed to do…

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