I have no idea what I'm doing...

A great idea…

You know that feeling,
When you get a great idea?
The one that makes you go,
“Yes! I can do this!”,
The one that is gonna shake things up,
Steer your life around,
And make it more fun.

It can be anything,
A project,
A new job,
Just something,
That grabs your attention,
And makes you want to move,
With it.

I had one of those,
About two days ago,
Problem is,
You get time to think,
And what might have seemed,
An amazing idea,
On day one,
Starts to suck,
On day two.

The self doubt kicks in,
Can I really do this?
Am I up for this?
What if it doesn’t work?
I don’t know anything about this!
What the hell was I thinking?

And most of the time,
You can’t do these things alone,
You need other people to help you,
And support you,
Even if it’s just,
Picking the kids up from school,
When you go for an interview,
For that new,
Amazing job.

But I found,
That the practicalities,
Always get fixed,
One way or another,
People are willing to take care of your child,
If it’s for your work,
Grandmothers jump in,
Even your mother in law,
That always kind of hated you.

But when it’s about the mind,
That little voice inside your head,
That’s on repeat all day,
“You can’t do this”,
In a singing voice,
You are on your own.

Nobody cares about that,
Because they can’t hear it,
But even if you told them,
They would look a bit glazy at you,
“That’s all on you, don’t look at me”.

We want other people,
To tell us,
Reassure us,
That we can do this,
That it truly is,
A great idea.

But even when they do it,
Often we don’t feel satisfied,
With the way they did it,
The tone was off,
Or it wasn’t convincing enough,
And we spiral more downwards.

We start questioning the friendship,
The person we trusted with our great idea,
But shouldn’t the real question be,
Why we need,
Someone else’s approval in the first place?



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