I have no idea what I'm doing...

My time will come… Or is it already here?

All around me,
People are getting,
What they want,
Chances,
Opportunities,
Wishes,
That seem to be granted,
And I’m happy for them,
Really,
I am.

But,
When is it,
My turn?

I know,
I know,
It sounds,
So selfish,
And if we can believe,
Anything from the New Age wave,
It is that you,
Are one with the entire world,
And that if someone else,
Gets what they want,
We all benefit from it.

And my husband,
Keeps telling me,
Your time will come,
And it’s gonna be,
So much better,
Then anything you’ve ever wanted,
Or dreamed of,
But what if it doesn’t?

What if it never comes,
What if I never get it?

What am I doing wrong,
What is it,
That I’m not seeing?

Sure,
Be thankful,
For what you’ve got,
And you’ll see,
How rich you already are,
I know all of that,
But something inside of me,
Just doesn’t buy it,
It yells,
Screams,
“What about me?!”

Like I’m the only soul,
In the world,
That is overlooked,
Someone who is not liked,
Misunderstood,
Excluded,
From all the fun,
That the rest of the world,
Seems to be having.

And it doesn’t stop there,
Oh no,
My mind starts whispering,
“It’s you”,
And I start believing it,
There is something wrong with me,
I’m badly wired,
People actually don’t like me,
And I have no idea why.

But my heart,
That heart,
It’s like a pool,
Of hope,
Hugging me,
Loving me,
With a tiny voice,
Telling me,
Very gently:
“You are enough,
You are so enough,
It’s unbelievable,
How enough you are”.

So if you ever,
Ever,
Feel like this,
Find that soft,
Tiny voice,
Talking from deep within,
Reaching you,
With a pool of love,
Devotion,
And faith.

Telling you,
That you,
Deserve everything,
You could ever want,
That it is already yours,
And that no one,
Can ever take it away from you,
You’ve got this.

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