I have no idea what I'm doing...

Out with the old?

Every time,
I tell myself,
This time,
I’m going to do it right.

Every closet,
And box,
I’m going to go through it,
Let every item pass my hands,
And make a firm decision,
On what to keep,
And what to toss.

And every time,
I fail.

Because I’m an emotional mess,
When I see things,
That remind me of better times,
Like when my kids were small,
Or when we took that trip,
And took the sign,
That told us that our luggage,
Is our own responsibility,
With us.

But you know what?
When my kids were small,
They kept me up at night,
And left me a total mess,
During the day.

And that sign we took?
That was on a boat,
And I was pregnant,
And nauseous for the entire trip.

How come,
We don’t remember that,
When we go through,
Every item we own?

And do we really need,
A piece of paper,
Or a baby sock,
To remind us,
Of the good times in our life?

And when we hold on,
To all those little things,
Is there a possibility,
That we are holding off our future?

Because how can new good times,
Roll in,
Fill our minds,
And rejoice our hearts,
When it is still cluttered up,
With stuff from the past?

Don’t get me wrong,
Memories are amazing,
They tell you where you’ve been,
What you’ve done,
And all the accomplishments you had.

But they never tell you anything about your future,
Do they?

That baby sock,
Can’t tell me what my kid,
Will grow up like,
That sign can’t tell me,
If we’ll ever make that trip again,
Aren’t we really just tormenting ourselves?

Tormenting ourselves with what we are missing,
Instead of looking forward,
To all the things,
That are still to come?

I want to make room for those things,
Without discarding the old,
So what if,
I keep the things that I really hold dear,
So I can remember what my past was like,
Without them affecting my future?

I’ll let them fuel me,
To make what is yet to come,
Even better.

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